How to reconnect in a broken world when everything seems useless.
This summer has had some rough patches for many of us it seems.
What do we do when our efforts seem to lead us to failure?
This post is intended to bring a bit of grace into the process.
Strengths acknowledged. check.
Expectations laid out. check.
Clearly communicated boundaries and guidelines. check.
Protocols written and timers set and needs met. check.
Set up everything you could control for? check.
Frustration and anger.
I laid out the path.
I did the things.
I followed the protocol.
I controlled for every aspect that I could.
If you are anything like me, at this point you turn into a fire breathing dragon and destroy villages.
Cue rage and futility.
And fight with entitlement.
Let's unpack that a bit.
Setting up and making known my expectations and then those expectations not being met is mind-boggling.
But is it entitlement.
Process and set up and hope doesn't entitle me to get the desired outcome.
A "failed outcome" isn't a blow to the ego, but it helps pave the way towards clarity on how to get there.
Sometimes that clarity shows that the set up didn't work.
Sometimes it is that the "controlling factors" actually didn't mean as much as I thought they did.
Sometimes it is just me that stands in my own way.
When it feels futile: What's the point?
The "why bother" moment.
We can work through this moment by reflecting on our own values and the intentions.
You likely didn't bother because you were a failure. You bothered because you cared.
Find a comfortable position.
However you learn best, explore the reasons you set out to do things.
Love? Safety? Belonging?
Those core values aren't letting you down. The attempted process did.
It is time to release our hold on the process.
Take time to reset our being and hammer out a new way forward.
This is tricky and takes practice and sacrifice.
Sacrifice of the comfort zone.
Sacrifice of the habits and routines that once worked for you.
To venture out with fresh eyes and trust that the process will pay off eventually.
In calling out your own greatness, it can also make others uncomfortable.
It can seem to them that you are judging them.
But quite the opposite is happening - you are holding yourself to a new standard.
They can create their own.
So what drives you?
When you sit in the quiet moments, how do you want to grow?
How can we move from a place of connection if we keep judging our attempts?
I wish you kindness and grace in all your attempts,
Bring on the Awesomeness!
I wish you all the best wishes for today is my birthday!!!
I like to celebrate different years by turning a page.
Closing a chapter of the previous year with a beautiful summary and with foreshadowing with what to expect.
Bring on the journal!
And although life is unpredictable, I am resilient and capable of growth.
I am awesome.
And so are you.
Check in with yourself.
Remember that you are the true and only expert in who you are and are the one responsible for who you are becoming.
We all navigate through pressures and challenges of this world.
And we all are surrounded by the opinions and views of others as we bump into them.
But where is their place? What focus and energy is necessary to give to others views of us?
Using what others think of us, or using our story of what they think of us, is important.
It is important to look at the facts and ask "What do I know for sure?"
For example, what I know for sure is:
I am capable
I am kind
I am fierce
I am growing
I am loving
What others may see:
I am too much
I am arrogant
I am improper
Well lovelies, which view should I spend my energy on?
I can't control how other people experience me, but I can focus my heart and focus on using my strengths (confidence and direct communication) to call for love and acceptance of where people are on their growth journey.
I could also fret and worry about changing aspects of me that are life-long and given (my energy and heart) to try to make other people feel better about me or to like me.
I choose not to do that because if someone wants me to change, they will take the time to look at the heart in the matter. They will allow for growth and development and be able to work with, instead of judge against.
Our personal investors are the ones we need to care about.
The rest is just noise and nonsense.
So what to do about it?
Here is a quick trick to uncover your own awesomeness!
Take a deep breath and focus your attention on your being.
Write down as many adjectives as you can that describe you - positive or negative.
Once that list is created, reset your focus.
Focus on your heart.
Ask it to guide you to what is true.
Look at the list.
Highlight, circle or underline any adjective that resonates with the actual you.
The real you.
Not the noise from others. The you in your heart.
Welcome to your awesomeness.
You are a unique blend of qualities that the world needs.
The world doesn't need another them. Another other.
It needs a you.
As you move through the coming weeks, think of this list.
The list of awesome. The list of you.
If someone accuses you or pulls you off brand, remind yourself that you are growing.
This list is a work in progress and you are an enjoyable process.
So, here's to awesomeness! Here's to you!
P.S. For my birthday, I would love it if you were to like us on Facebook and share with your friends!
You never know who could use a little more love!