A quick exercise to grow (and have some fun).
Happy Friday the 13th Lovelies!
As a day that is said to be unlucky (although I am having an amazing day), let's dive into the topic of growing pains.
What to do when the push to grow comes not from our choosing.
Those outside forces and friction that require us to change and adapt.
When it feels like the universe is raining down on us and we are barely treading water as is.
I feel you.
In these moments, I have a trick that I use to stay afloat.
This practice allows me to feel my feels and still keep my head above water.
Use it at work when the tasks keep piling on and everyone has different priorities for you to juggle.
This is helpful when you are dragging yourself through the days of necessary routine.
When you are overwhelmed by the ins and outs of a seemingly never-ending crawl.
Or for those days when you are just too tired to do little more than curl up in bed with a book.
This tool is for the casual dips and trenches that come with being present to your life.
The downside of awareness is that you are aware even when life gets messy.
So, if life is a bit messy right now, try this exercise to make it to shore.
I want you to tune into your fierce self.
Power pose, growl, own your space.
Make yourself as big as you can.
And I want you to say with power:
"Thank you universe for knowing what I need to grow."
And by say, I mean yell, scream, direct.
Gather up your strength and give it a go.
Really shout out thanks.
This is aimed at the fiddly annoying pieces of daily living that poke us and prod us toward the direction we need to be heading.
This gratitude is directed at the small pieces that return to remind us that we aren't comfortable and have time to grow.
When we pay attention to the direction those annoyances are pushing us, we can gain some serious clarity. And with this clarity comes freedom and release.
It can often feel like garbage, but it actually might be fertilizer.
It helps the goodness and the desired plants-of-our-life grow stronger roots and healthier leaves.
Often, there is beauty in the unexpected.
For example, my mother-in-law recently bought some dahlias.
Two plants sold in the same container from the same growth set.
They were transplanted into two similar areas in her garden and given the same treatment.
Unexpectedly, one grew to over 5 feet tall while the other stayed the expected foot or so!
But you know what?
The tall one, the unexpected one, is the flower that gets the most comments.
It is glorious and a gorgeous flower. It is complimented far more than the normal expected flower.
Sometimes unexpected (and formerly undesired) growth leads to unexpected joys.
By thanking these annoyances we give space for them to guide us BEFORE we resist the push.
The less we resist, the easier it is to swim.
Go parallel to the shore and find where the current is weaker.
Gratitude in this way weaken the current.
What one piece of your life are you going to put this into practice today?
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
This post is also titled: What to do when things get ugly.
Do you feel flooded with futility?
Disconnect. Why bother. Negativity?
Sometimes, when things don't go according to plan.
Or worse, when the plan is thwarted by factors outside our control, it is easy to take a trip to distortion-land.
Take a look at the language that your inner-critic starts to bring into play.
The goal here is not to judge, but simply to notice.
Absolute. Forever. Future. All-or-nothing. Black-and-white.
These are all signs that it is time take a break - or maybe a nap.
There is some wisdom in trying turning it off and on again!
Give yourself some time to calibrate and let the diagnostics of your subconscious run in the background.
In this state, no amount of problem solving will accomplish anything.
Positive tools won't stick.
It's time to bring out the script for when an undesirable event got through the barricades of plans, strengths, protocols, timers, tools, setups, meditations and mindfulness.
Unfortunately, you can't control for all negative events. (though I really do like to try)
Nor would you want to.
But you can build a resilience toolbox.
Growth opportunities come in all shapes and sizes.
Important note: if the negative situation entrenches you and lasts for more than a week, consider consulting professional help.
If longer than 6-weeks following an upsetting event, please talk to your doctor. There are supports out there and you are worth it! I'm sorry you are hurting.
In this post, I am only referring to the occasional negative slump that effects every body.
Energy from someone else's bad mood, or dealing with an inaccurate view of yourself is draining.
Other people without all the details of your heart and your intentions may make up a wrong story up about why. And project that onto you. Draining isn't it?
That is why giving and receiving the benefit-of-the-doubt is so loving.
Let's dive into some resilience!
The Resilience Toolkit for GROWTH
G - Gratitude
R - Resistance
O - Observe
W - Water
T - Time
H - Heart
I want to unpack that a little.
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life - however small and fleeting they may feel at the moment.
Even if they feel too distant - note these as well. Not for examination, but for evidence.
Showing you what boundaries need to be strengthened.
Take some time to watch your mind.
Listen to your gut for that feeling when it is time to continue.
This may take days. Allow for that space to notice internal on-goings.
This may seem silly, but make sure you hydrate. You'll thank me. Alcohol doesn't count.
This involves giving yourself permission to wait.
Not all the answers will come quickly. But they will make sense when they do!
You only know your side of the situation for sure.
Connect with your heart and ask what was the intention you were trying to convey.
This will help ground your values and the story in reality.
Re-engage with the challenge only after connection to calm has been restored.
Permission to try again and give space if needed to process.
Often it is worse in our heads than in reality because our narratives are one sided.
Once we have calmed our thoughts and are ready to try and form a new plan, I want you to ask yourself a quick question:
How does your hero act in this story? (pssst, the hero is you!)
Wishing you a connected day,
Intend. Act. Repeat. Ugh.
I have a big exciting project that I want to be working on, but resistance is strong today.
So much resistance!
I feel like a kid who has been assigned an essay to write.
I have the framework. I have the outline. I even have the paragraph topic sentences.
But when I sit down to hammer out the word count - BOOM - resistance.
"Oh I need a cup of tea!" It says.
"You know what's a good idea? Snack time."
Or my least favourite: you need to do more research!
Procrastination and avoidance can look like "working".
That last one is particularly sneaky.
If I wait until I have ALL THE PIECES, I likely won't start.
Not starting definitely means not completing.
But it also means not failing.
And not succeeding.
It's not only failure that holds us back.
The idea of success is also uncomfortable.
Who will I be if this succeeds?
How does me succeeding invalidate who I was before?
When I complete this project, my existence will be pointless...
DISCOMFORT! Unknown! Anxiety!
It's almost easier to play the failure script.
"I'm not going to try because I've already failed."
BAH to failure! I demand proof dagnabit!
I bet I'm not alone.
Is there a project in your life that fear of the unknown is holding you back from?
Or fear of the likely?
Well lovelies, trust me when I say that you have been learning new things and growing every day.
We are meant to grow as human beings.
When you were little, you likely put one foot in front of the other and learned to walk eventually.
You didn't think - I can't run yet, so why bother trying.
Where are these baby steps going to take you.
Or simply, just take them.
Take those steps and join me in discovering where these steps take us.
We have the skills to make this successful!
And we will do it at a pace that is appropriate for our minds and bodies as we grow into who we are called to be. And who we are calling ourselves to be.
So. How are you going to step out of your own way this week and step into who you are becoming?
I am going to set the intention that I sit with my project for 30 minutes a day in 10 minute blocks to see where the steps lead. It's a start!
Wish me luck!
Very much love,
Renewing your purpose with grace and ease!
I love September.
The almost-Autumn feel of the mornings, the organizational pull of back-to-school season, and the lower UV index so I can get out and enjoy Mr Sun (you can't be this shade of porcelain and not be roasted in the summer).
Back to school has been a part of my life since I was 3 - I went from being in school, to university, to taking community language courses, to having kids of my own in school.
There was maybe a year or two when I wasn't directly involved in the process in some way.
Along with the desire for fresh school supplies, one thing September brings for me is a mindfulness to intention.
A refocusing on what is actually the point of things?
Do the systems we had set in place still meet our needs?
Is there a spot in my life that needs to be tended to that could allow for less stress?
Every year, I purchase a fresh new calendar in September to write the important dates for the following year. The practice helps put the fresh needs of the year into focus.
Here are some of the practices I put into play that you might find helpful:
I'm curious? What do you love about September?
Leave a comment below, or head on over to our facebook page and let me know!
I'd love to hear from you.