Dive into this exercise and find out!
I'm curious, are your expectations setting you up for success?
Sure! You think. I'm all for success!
Of course I know what I want.
But how many of us have taken the time to intentionally define what that looks like?
How do you know when you reach your goal?
When those expectations are met?
When we feel scattered and messy, it is often because we aren't clear on where to put our energy.
Different areas of our life compete for different resources.
Internal focus and energy that keep us moving towards our ultimate goals.
Last week, we looked at tasks in life we didn't want to do.
We gave ourselves permission to shut down the potential energy going towards those possibilities to reclaim focus on those that do matter.
But how do we start in identifying what does matter?
Our brains are marvelous organs.
They allow us to process the information we receive from the world around us.
But the rest of our body can inform us too.
Intuition and "go with your gut" are common themes when we are faced with danger, but how many of us tune into them when we are safe? Or simply curious?
It can feel a little tricky when you start, because we are mainly used to signaling danger, but then, as we get used to the quiet voice,it doesn't have to yell as loud.
To begin, I want you to grab some paper and your favourite pen (or is that just me?)
Begin on the bottom of the page and start writing right to left.
Write down all the projects, or items, or tasks that are important to you, or present for you.
No editing or worrying about spelling or script here. This is a judgement free zone.
Now, take a look at this list.
How does it make you feel?
Where in your body do you feel that reaction?
A punch in the gut failure?
A fluttery heart appreciation of pride?
A headache of overwhelm?
Many of us here are fun type-A personalities, so grab your favourite highlighters, and colour code each item as the different feelings.
Now that we have a record of the swirling brain items, we often feel a sense of calm and validation at why we were kinda cranky in the first place.
Take a look at the items that are coded for pride.
Look back at those when you are feeling stressed and know that the awesome is possible.
And now let's tackle the failure and overwhelm. The ones you coded as gut punches and headaches.
Our goal isn't to dive into the "why" of the stress, it is to dive into the "what now".
Take a look at the top three stressors.
Do you notice anything similar about them?
If they trigger a sense of failure, an important question to ask is how do we know we are achieving that?
What does failure look like?
I want you to shift into your heart for a minute. Let's move away from our brain and thinking.
I want you to imagine that I am the one having trouble with these tasks.
That I set out to do them with the chosen expectations.
How would you react to me if I told you that I was struggling a wee bit?
Would you yell at me for being a failure?
Would you tell me to quit, or why bother even trying?
Or would you help me break the task down into smaller chunks and celebrate the process.
To reevaluate the expectations given the current reality.
To allow for me to learn and grow through this process.
It's okay if you chose the yelling. I'm good with confrontation.
Now that you've yelled at me, let's go on to breaking those tasks down into 3 smaller pieces and assign a start date.
When we take a moment to reengage with our tasks from a heart-centered lens, we can embrace the permission to learn and grow as we navigate this life.
Wishing you a heart-felt connected week.
Tea-loving awesomeness. Challenging perfectionism.