Trick your brain into welcoming growth.
Today's blog is responding to a question that was submitted from a reader.
Bear with, this post is a wee bit rambly in places, but it resolves nicely at the end.
The question went something like this:
Dear Life Coach Online,
I have an idea and I want to get it done, but I am too scared to try because I might fail.
What should I do?
Sincerely, Lovely Reader.
Well dear reader, I know that many of us have been there.
Most of us at some point have had an idea that we wanted to accomplish and loved, but then didn't try because we were afraid to fail?
Too afraid to do something that we would really like to do.
Because it feels important. And special.
Most cases, it is that little voice in the head.
The one that criticizes us at annoying times.
Common thoughts that hold us back are:
I'm not good enough.
I could never do that.
I'm good enough right now, why take the risk.
I'm foolish to think I could do that.
Who do I think I am.
Well dear reader... that brings me to the question, who DO you think you are?
As we develop this awareness, we develop the freedom from failure.
Throughout this life, we go through many experiences - both wanted and unwanted.
Chosen and given.
Getting in touch with these parts of our self identity can bring light and understanding to how our inner critic got its voice.
It might seem like a lot, but I want to invite you to try something with me.
Let's challenge the inner critic a little and see where that takes us today.
Imagine your best self.
The one that thrives when conditions are perfect.
When we identify as that being, and really get down to it, do we feel like we have changed that much at all throughout our life?
Chances are, your inner awareness has stayed the same.
The YOU-ness of you is outside your body and when we connect with our true self, we feel powerful and meaningful.
Over time, what changes is our resilience and our awareness of self.
When we experience connection and love at our being level, we begin to thrive!
As we grow and bump into the boundaries of others, we develop reaction patterns that may or may not serve us.
This brings us to the concept of change.
Personally, I like to define change as the process of becoming.
Freedom to adjust and expand and change.
Change can be a scary word for some people.
It can trigger feelings of inadequacy and failure.
That is not the point here. Here we strive for kindness.
Synonyms for change include:
Which ones of these words sits easier?
Change feels BIG but development feels appropriate depending on the situation.
Want to make a lifestyle change - sometimes people react negatively to that language and ask "Well, what was wrong with me in the first place?"
Even admitting that change is desired somehow devalues the current being and the hard work you did to get there.
How to make change gentle - call it by another name.
There is more inherent permission to say that I am developing rather than I am changing.
It implies choice in the areas of growth.
You story can be what you make it.
Sure, there are given pieces of that story, but how do we use those givens to connect and build bridges between others in our lives.
Or do we use those givens as an excuse to hold ourselves back, to limit what we are capable of choosing?
Over the next few posts, we will talk more about change.
And on ways to embrace the potential rather than run from it.
We aim for choice and permission.
So dear reader, what happens when you apply the kinder word to the inner critic?
Does that free up some of the creative energy and allow you to start your task?
I look forward to continuing the conversation!
You've got this! I'm proud of you for reaching out.
For my lovely other readers, please know that my inbox is always open for ideas and questions.
Like our Facebook page for more tips and inspiration throughout the week!
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Celebrate Summer with me!
Happy Solstice Lovelies!
Welcome to Summer!
Here, for us folks that live in the Northern hemisphere, we arrive at that beautiful point in the year where we get to celebrate the light and prepare to welcome the coming darkness as days get shorter.
Gosh, I love celebrating.
It is a reminder to enter into the present and to connect again with reality as we move through life.
A process that I love to do at this time of year involves gratitude and appreciation for the things in life that we don't do. To free myself of the extraneous expectations that gather and collect at times.
I use the summer solstice to remind myself of the coming darkness and its place in the seasons of life.
I like to spend some time reflecting on an important topic: freedom of choice.
To take a quick intentional look at the "shoulds" in life that I choose NOT to do.
This exercise that can free up our summer and get clarity on what we want to do by highlighting the paths in life that we are closed to.
We can put down the weight of those expectations and move some potential to the back burner of our subconscious.
This frees us to celebrate to awesomeness of now!
Grab a pen and some recycled paper - using discarded paper is a nice symbol here.
Don't think. Just start writing.
Any topic that comes to mind that no longer interests you. That no longer serves you.
I give you permission to write it down.
You aren't committing to throwing it out of your life forever, or never picking it up again, you are just listing possibilities and potentials that no longer serve you.
I challenge you to see if you can write 20 items.
If 20 is easy, try 50! I dare you to get to 100.
There is no right or wrong number here. Just permission to write.
There is no way to fail at this exercise - 2 items? awesome! One item - let it go!
Put the pen down, close your eyes and take a breath in - bask in the glow and warmth of the longest day of the year in gratitude for not having to carry these items forward into the coming darkness.
We can use this time to find joy in what we do choose to do.
Doesn't that brain dump feel nice?
Now, take that piece of paper and return it to the recycling.
You don't need to keep it.
You've let the expectations go and freed up your energy for choice and service.
The point is not to "dive into the why" or look at a how. It is to list and thank and breathe.
What are your favourite ways to celebrate the seasons?
Keep the conversation going and leave a comment below!
Go and enjoy this beautiful summer -- May it be filled with light and laughter!
P.S. My favourite season is Autumn. I am so excited to move through Summer with you and into the hygge deliciousness of fall 💖