Have you tried turning it off and on again?
This post is also titled: What to do when things get ugly.
Do you feel flooded with futility?
Disconnect. Why bother. Negativity?
Sometimes, when things don't go according to plan.
Or worse, when the plan is thwarted by factors outside our control, it is easy to take a trip to distortion-land.
Take a look at the language that your inner-critic starts to bring into play.
The goal here is not to judge, but simply to notice.
Absolute. Forever. Future. All-or-nothing. Black-and-white.
These are all signs that it is time take a break - or maybe a nap.
There is some wisdom in trying turning it off and on again!
Give yourself some time to calibrate and let the diagnostics of your subconscious run in the background.
In this state, no amount of problem solving will accomplish anything.
Positive tools won't stick.
It's time to bring out the script for when an undesirable event got through the barricades of plans, strengths, protocols, timers, tools, setups, meditations and mindfulness.
Unfortunately, you can't control for all negative events. (though I really do like to try)
Nor would you want to.
But you can build a resilience toolbox.
Growth opportunities come in all shapes and sizes.
Important note: if the negative situation entrenches you and lasts for more than a week, consider consulting professional help.
If longer than 6-weeks following an upsetting event, please talk to your doctor. There are supports out there and you are worth it! I'm sorry you are hurting.
In this post, I am only referring to the occasional negative slump that effects every body.
Energy from someone else's bad mood, or dealing with an inaccurate view of yourself is draining.
Other people without all the details of your heart and your intentions may make up a wrong story up about why. And project that onto you. Draining isn't it?
That is why giving and receiving the benefit-of-the-doubt is so loving.
Let's dive into some resilience!
The Resilience Toolkit for GROWTH
G - Gratitude
R - Resistance
O - Observe
W - Water
T - Time
H - Heart
I want to unpack that a little.
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life - however small and fleeting they may feel at the moment.
Even if they feel too distant - note these as well. Not for examination, but for evidence.
Showing you what boundaries need to be strengthened.
Take some time to watch your mind.
Listen to your gut for that feeling when it is time to continue.
This may take days. Allow for that space to notice internal on-goings.
This may seem silly, but make sure you hydrate. You'll thank me. Alcohol doesn't count.
This involves giving yourself permission to wait.
Not all the answers will come quickly. But they will make sense when they do!
You only know your side of the situation for sure.
Connect with your heart and ask what was the intention you were trying to convey.
This will help ground your values and the story in reality.
Re-engage with the challenge only after connection to calm has been restored.
Permission to try again and give space if needed to process.
Often it is worse in our heads than in reality because our narratives are one sided.
Once we have calmed our thoughts and are ready to try and form a new plan, I want you to ask yourself a quick question:
How does your hero act in this story? (pssst, the hero is you!)
Wishing you a connected day,
Tea loving awesomeness. Challenging perfectionism.