What to do on a Crabby day.
Let's give a round of applause for irony.
I write about showing up for intentions and showing commitment and then voila! my household is struck by a nasty virus (hello 104 degree fevers) and I am unable to show up to much else.
So as much as I wanted to write, I had to attend elsewhere.
My kids are on the mend today (YAY virus-slaying fevers), and I am hopefully not going to catch it (YAY immunity!).
While I still have health, I am writing today's post a little bit early.
Often when life gets messy, our thoughts can take a negative turn.
Society has conditioned us to dive in to black-and-white thinking:
Oh look! You didn't show up for your blog today.... That means you are a failure and you should just quit... let's be honest, you shouldn't have even started in the first place (totally random example).
To which I respond, "Wait, what?!".
How is that helpful, or kind, or true?
How is that at all accurate?
Spoiler alert: It isn't accurate.
Taking note of your compromised thoughts is a good indicator to shift focus from production to self-nourishment.
This is where permission re-enters.
Permission to take a day, to be flexible with how we navigate or changing reality (as I wrote about last week - oh life).
It is easy in these moments to feel that tickle of "failure" creep in.
I put failure in quotes, because it isn't accurate.
It is a construct.
It is a comfortable grossness that we are trained to wallow in.
Society rewards this: go have that drink, you clearly need it.
Here's the latest season of show... you should numb yourself and binge watch all the episodes because hey, your time isn't worth much else.
Self-medicate in all the ways! Super fun times!!!
The societal push that tells you it was foolish to even bother.
In moving through the post-illness reality of my day, a good friend reminded me about the fantastic British comedian Susan Calman and what she calls the Crab of Hate. In her book, Cheer Up Love, Susan confronts the stigma surrounding depression and the adventures therein.
*Important note, this information is not a substitute for mental health care.
Please see a professional health worker if your thoughts of failure are more than conditioning. A list of resources if linked at the bottom of this page.*
We can think of the Crab of Hate as the gremlin that tells us inaccurate lies about ourselves. The one that society and social media feeds with comparisons designed to show us how little we are actually worth, or how little we measure up.
However, as the awesome-fierce-powerhouse beings that we are, it is up to us how we handle the "failure".
Again, there is absolutely no shame in needing proper help. Here we are talking about behaviours we can choose and not illness.
If your crab of hate is societal and not a health concern, the following tips are a few of the ways we can boil the crab.
5 ways to step out of "failure":
1. Talk a walk.
2. Step into funk - for a set amount of time.
5. Talk to someone outside your head!
At life coach online, we work on ways to develop a support network of people who can lift you up. Write a list of those people and post it in your tea cupboard to remind you when you need a boost. You've got this!
Today, when my brain was being crabby, I reached out to an accountability partner. She was able to remind me of those set intentions and the normalcy of low moments. Most of the time, this reminder is all I need to power through to the next time of inspiration. Because a next moment WILL come.
So, if you are battling a low moment yourself, I hope that some of the 5 ways above will speak to you and you will soon be on your way back up to the dynamic and accomplished person we know you are!
Here's to a renewed way forward!
Mental Health Resources:
Tea-loving awesomeness. Challenging perfectionism.